When You Can’t Breathe

When the sunlight dies before my eyes, and my hands no longer desire to feel in the dark for what’s ahead, how I’d never imagined such a place to be. Of mine own bewilderment and consciousness, it has not been within my existence to desire or sit still in nothingness and yet that is what I desire. For the first time in many sun filled days and cloudy sleepless nights tonight is a night wherein there is nothing.

I am bleeding slowly and have been bashed in the head. The vision of my horror replays in front of my eyes and I can not blink for I am mesmerized of the fast forward of my life to this. To this moment of how can this be, of what road has been taken, of my no longer seeking where to look. A moment of my own creation and my ardent desire for its destruction. I am enraged, and murderous.